John Wolf
by NeonDomino
Summary: 'Doesn't Sirius Black look fucking sexy in those tight trousers? I bet he'd be even sexier out of them. ;)'. Who is the mysterious 'John Wolf' that's been tweeting about Sirius? Sirius is determined to find out who he really is. Boys Boarding school, Muggle!AU.


**Set in a boys boarding school. Muggle!AU.**

**I own nothing.**

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Sirius Black wasn't sleeping. He had never really fussed over social media before, but over the last week a new Twitter account had appeared on the site, and someone had started tweeting about him. It took a week to come to everyone's attention, and the holder of the account had managed to get over three-hundred followers over those seven days. That was almost the whole school.

Although no-one knew who this person really was, as the person went by the name 'John Wolf'.

Sirius found himself sitting on one of the desks in the room, his phone in his hand as he read that day's tweet, and tried to work out who the hell was writing about him. He knew he should be sleeping, he had a maths test in the morning after all, but he couldn't get the tweets out of his mind.

_'Doesn't Sirius Black look fucking sexy in those tight trousers? I bet he'd be even sexier out of them. ;)'_

"Who the fuck is John Wolf?" He shouted, not for the first time, before a shoe hit him in the side of the head.

"Go to fucking sleep," James replied, angrily, clutching the other shoe just in case.

Sirius rubbed the side of his head, glaring at his friend. "But I have to find -"

"Sirius, we're trying to sleep," Remus grumbled into his pillow.

"Sorry," Sirius mumbled, finally climbing into bed. Remus smiled to himself. Sirius Black had spent two years driving him insane, flirting but never making a move. Now it was his turn to drive the other boy just as crazy.

**...oOo...**

_'I must say that I love the new shampoo. Lime, very fruity, Mr Black. Makes you smell amazing, though you always do.'_

Remus grinned, as James and Sirius discussed the new tweet as class was starting. He shifted his bag across the desk as Lily sat next to him, waiting for the test to start.

"He'll work it out," Lily whispered, and Remus shrugged.

"Yeah I know," he responded. "But it'll be fun watching him try."

**...oOo...**

_'Who knew that Sirius Black had such a fondness for red underwear? I always picture him in black, but the red look good too... or none at all.'_

"Someone is spying on me," Sirius whimpered. "I bet they're watching me in the shower. I bet it's someone gross... like Snivellous."

Remus let out a snort. "How would he get in here without us knowing, and see you showering?"

"The changing rooms," Sirius said. "After football of course. You won't let Snivellous near me?" Sirius turned his grey puppy dog eyes onto Remus, who pretended not to notice, choosing to lay back on his bed in silence.

"Please my dearest Remmy," he whimpered. "I'm scared."

Remus laughed. "What if it's someone hot?"

"Right, it might be someone sexy, like one of the Prewitt twins, or you, Remus," he said, gleefully. Remus smiled to himself, if only Sirius knew.

Sirius went to brush his teeth, returning to check his phone.

_'I bet those boxers hug everything perfectly. I'm sure my hands would feel much nicer... What do you say, Sirius?'_

Sirius threw down his phone in frustration.

**...oOo...**

_'Did you see that body during Football practice? Sirius Black should play the game topless every time. Gryffindor house would definitely win.'_

Sirius Black put down four sheets of paper. "Write everyone who was at practices name down on your paper, we will compare names at the end," Sirius demanded, picking up his own pen. Each of his friends reached for a sheet of paper, and started listing names.

He compared lists at the end, and still had no idea who it could be, unless it was someone on the team.

As he looked through the lists, his phone beeped again, twice.

_'Imagine smearing a bar of Honeydukes all over that chest, and licking it off. It wouldn't be a waste of chocolate at all.'_

_'I'm sure the chocolate would taste a million times better. #IWantSiriusBlackInMyBed.'_

The second message inspired a massive amount of posts over the next couple of weeks, all bearing the same tag. It just drove him even more crazy trying to work it out.

**...oOo...**

_'I could stare at that perfect arse all day, and imagine my hands gripping it hard enough to leave bruises. I'm sure I'd need to hold tight.'_

_'Green boxers? I thought you were a Gryffindor. I can help you get rid of those green boxers, I'll take them off you myself.'_

Sirius stared at the tweets for ages, trying to work out who it was. He had a feeling by the message that the guy writing them was a Gryffindor. His gaze fell on Frank Longbottom, and his eyes narrowed. Frank had been at the pitch, and Frank had access to the dorms and his underwear drawer.

He stood up, and grabbed Frank's arm. Best to let him down gently.

_'Oh fuck, Sirius Black with a black eye, he's been in a fight. Doesn't it make him look sexier somehow?'_

**...oOo...**

It had been a month since the tweets had started, and his plan to slowly seduce Remus Lupin had come to a halt as he tried to find the guy that was intent of driving him mad. He made a list of other Gryffindors, but couldn't work out who it could be.

He had even called emergency Marauder meetings about it. He was determined to find out who was writing the tweets, but his friends weren't very helpful. Peter wasn't interested, Remus was amused, and James just kept talking about Lily.

Finally Sirius wrote his own tweet, tagging the mysterious John Wolf. _'My mystery friend should make himself known. Find me at midnight, show me who you really are.'_

Sirius headed to the art room and opened the window as Remus perched on the desk. Sirius kept his eye on the grounds for someone to be out looking for him. His usual spot was hanging out by the lake, under the oak tree, and from this window he had the perfect view.

Midnight came and went, and they waited another hour before he checked his phone again.

_'Just watching how that cigarette dangles from your lips, draws all my attention to them. I think my lips would feel nicer than a cigarette.'_

Sirius frowned. How had the guy seen that he was smoking, when no-one was outside at all? The only person who had seen him smoking was Remus, he must have somehow missed someone peeking into the room, or sneaking around the grounds. He looked at Remus in confusion, watching him fiddle with a paintbrush, before sighing and grabbing his friend to head back to their dorm.

**...oOo...**

Another month passed, and Sirius had spent it going insane as the tweets kept appearing. They had slowly gotten dirtier and dirtier, and he didn't know what to do about them. Remus laughed at his many complaints, and he didn't know what to do to get this guy to reveal himself.

After three months the answer came when Remus was raiding the kitchen with James and Peter, Sirius' had chosen to stay behind, and his eyes fell upon a book on his bedside table. He recalled it as one Lily had gotten him on his birthday, and his gaze fell onto a picture of a couple of boys standing with wolves.

He took a quick flick through the book, his eyes moving across the pages, reading about Remus and Romulus raised by wolves. He frowned, wondering if he was missing something, his head was trying to tell him something but he wasn't quite able to grasp the thought. His eyes moved to a couple of letters received in the post. Addressed to R. J. Lupin.

What did the J stand for? James? Jack? John?

John?

It was that moment that it all clicked. Remus Lupin was John Wolf. John was his middle name, and Remus in the story was raised by wolves, it was all so obvious now. Sirius' lips curved into a wide grin. Remus Lupin, his secret crush, was the boy tweeting the dirty messages. The one from that afternoon came to mind.

_'Sirius Black looks good from this angle, I wonder how he'd look if I was on my knees. I'm sure he'd look very pleased.'_

He thought long and hard about a reply. He had slowly being seducing Remus for so long, hands brushing together, flirting, trying to work out if Remus felt the same. But this showed that his friend wanted him too. He needed to step it up and make a move.

_'Sorry John, there's only one man I want to see on his knees, on his back, or over me.'_

The next tweet was almost instantaneous.

_'Really? Who might that be?'_

_'Lets just say I've had my sights set on him for two years. No-one will ever compare.'_

_'Who?'_

_'I'm meeting him later this evening,_' he wrote, just as Remus walked into the room.

Half an hour later, he saw Remus glance at his phone and Sirius saw his smile drop. Sirius waited until midnight, and made it slightly obvious that he was sneaking out of the dorm. He headed towards the grounds, and doubled back to the art room, taking the secret passages, to find Remus perched on the windowsill, a cigarette in between his lips, watching the grounds for Sirius to reappear with the unknown man.

**...oOo...**

Remus' phone buzzed and he pulled it from his pocket. Sirius Black had tweeted again. His hands shook as he pressed the button to read the tweet, his eyes darting back to the grounds, waiting for the message to load under the school's terrible internet connection. Who was Sirius with?

_'I think my lips would be much more satisfying than that cigarette.'_

He pulled the cigarette from his lips, his heart pounding as he heard footsteps behind him, and felt a hand pull the cigarette from his fingers, putting it out. He turned around to find himself face to face with Sirius.

"Did you mean everything?" Sirius asked, and Remus nodded, a blush creeping over his face.

"Good," Sirius muttered, pulling Remus close, and finally kissing him. "I think you'd look pretty sexy on your knees too," he replied, causing Remus to grin. Sirius' mouth dropped open as Remus' fell to his knees.

"I think I've got a lot of promises to fulfil," Remus said from his new position, reaching for Sirius' zipper.

Sirius knew it was going to be another sleepless night, although it would be much more enjoyable than the rest.

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**Review please :D**

**Oh, so I have a tumblr. it's neon-domino.**

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**Challenges/Competitions:**

**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry** - Muggle Studies Class - Write a Muggle AU!

**Fanfiction Scavanger Hunt** - A non-canon pairing

**Cards Against Humanity** - Fixed Prompt: Why Can't I sleep at night? Chosen answer prompt: Tweeting.

**Slash/Femmslash Boot Camp Challenge** - Prompt: Evening

**Ten Times Ten Challenge:** Prompts: Grey, Determination, Paintbrush.

**The Hunger Games: Fanfic Style Competition II - **Training Round


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